Last week  one of the songs i sing on The No Sh!t Shirleys recently released CD Nutrify was featured on a play list of songs for peace in a small radio station in Netivot, just 20 miles from the Gaza border! A note from one of the DJs (below) gave me an unexpected peek into the world of radio DJs and, more specifically,  what that job entails in times of war. I hadn’t given DJs much thought prior to that, except of course in relation to my own listening pleasure or lack thereof.

As a gesture of solidarity with the people down south who are suffering  terror, death and destruction from rockets, mortars and bombs, our radio station journeyed down south for a day, on Sunday of this week. We arrived after a four hour bus ride , in the beleaguered township of Netivot.
There had been two rocket attacks in the morning just before we arrived. The all clear had sounded and life appeared to be pretty normal, with folks going about their business, tensly alert for the "Colour Red" alarm which sends everyone running to the nearest shelter or protected space. Netivot is 20km from the Gaze border, so they have 15 seconds to find shelter. Not a lot. We were some 12 broadcasters and DJs who took a load off the local guys (three only) who had been broadcasting round the clock for two weeks….

This experience also resonated with me because of how beautifully it illustrates the relationship between cause and effect, or what i like to call the YOU JUST NEVER KNOW factor (YJNK). We frequently assume that cause and effect are related closely in time and space. But that just isn’t the case. I had no matter of insight or foresight regarding my voice finding an ear on the other side of the world in a land devistated by war. We sail through our lives imagining that our sphere of influence is no bigger than the distance between ourselves and those who register on the radar of our primary concern. A vastly bigger and bolder perception of cause and effect, is likely to cause a whole new manner of conduct and concern  in our social, environmental and economic systems. On all levels we are starting to see this more clearly. Global warming links back to decisions that were made a 100 years ago. Looking back upon the intricate interdependencies that have brought us all thus far is surely as vast and staggering as to look long into a starry sky.

I first met the folks at Sherpa Executive Coaching at the Worldwide Association of Business Coaches Conference in Vancouver in 2007. Just this week Sherpa  released the findings from their 2009 Executive Coaching Survey and for anyone interested in the current and future trends of coaching it is a must read. Click here to download your copy.

The faster you go the farther you get! Nope, not always. In fact, while it might feel like you are getting things done at warp speed, chances are you will have missed most of what happened, lost invaluable reflection and adjustment time, and you’ll be left wondering what happened? why am i so tired? I recently made time for the “mat”, yoga mat that is. The minute i walked into the studio with its tranquil music i felt a sense of relief. I was slowing down. Intentionally. The “mat” can come in many forms, ultimately it is a decision to enter into a state of being rather than doing, and there are many ways to do that. I am looking to make my mat a bigger part of my life and already this week, having joined two yoga classes and one nia class, i am feeling more grounded and appreciative. So in an effort to get us all to slow down, right down here is a list of resources/ideas that might just help you do the same.

1. Join the slow food movement (have you ever heard of eco-gastronomy?).
2. Take a class: Nia, Yoga, Painting, Dance…(call a friend and take them, too).
3. Walk in nature at least once a week (years ago i coined the term non-specific urbanitis, then along came Richard Louv).
4. Turn off the TV (it is not reality!).
5. Meditate (even for five minutes)
6. Stay in bed all day (seriously, with your favorite book or special someone).
7. Wear comfortable shoes (how else will you enjoy taking your time between here and there? and it prevents cancer too!).
8. Get hot (sauna, bath, beach).
9. Don’t drive so fast!(it’s dangerous).
10. Eliminate or moderate your caffeine (pop, coffee, black tea).

And finally make time to reflect on your life, define your intentions, and adjust your course to maximize the quality of your life.

We are constantly making assumptions. And, regardless of their validity, they  influence (if not downright drive) how we behave and the results we experience. Assumptions are part of the human meaning-making miracle, a rung on the ladder of what Robert Hargrove calls the Ladder of Inference, they define the conclusions we make, reinforce our beliefs and determine the actions we take.

Assumptions are part of a feedback loop that continually loops around as we make our way through life. And if we aren’t careful they can have very negative consequence for both ourselves and the people we love and/or work with. A big part of what I do as a coach is listen for assumptions and habitual thinking. More often than not, a client’s inability to resolve an issue or move forward with a goal is due in part to the shackles of their misguided, inaccurate and sometimes totally unreasonable assumptions.

To illustrate my point let’s examine a hypothetical assumption that client Bob has. Bob assumes that if people value his ideas they will seek his input for upcoming projects. That’s what he does after all! Meanwhile last week his colleague Rebecca overheard him say that his stress was overwhelming and keeping him up at night. A big project comes up and rather than call on Bob for some insights and advice, Rebecca and the team forge on without him. Bob upon hearing about this feels overlooked and rejected. While he had been intending to join the team for lunch that day, he withdraws and eats alone. This happens again next week and Rebecca just assumes that Bob wants to be alone so she doesn’t bother to ask…and so on.

We can help ourselves and each other by examining our ladder of inference from time to time. Next time you find yourself challenged by a relationship or situation take a few moments to untangle your thinking, to identify the errors, and examine your desired outcomes.

Helpful Questions:

What data is influencing your conclusion?

Where did you jump to a conclusion?

What historical experience is influencing this situation?

How might your assumptions be undermining your results?

Have you checked your assumptions with the people involved?

What fresh thinking would help you now?

How is this assumptions holding you back from realizing your desired outcomes?